Super Fancy Luxury Space Hotel Coming in Hot in 2021

(via CNN.com) Want to see 16 sunrises in one day? Float in zero gravity? Be one of the few to have gazed upon our home planet from space?In just two years’ time, and for an astronomical $9.5 million dollars, it’s claimed you can.Interior renderings of the world’s first luxury space hotel, Aurora Station, were unveiled Thursday for the first time.

Developed by US-based space technology start-up Orion Span, the fully modular space station will host six people at a time, including two crew members, for 12-day space travel tours.It plans to welcome its first guests in 2021 — a year earlier than the 2022 date announced in April 2018.”Our goal is to make space accessible to all,” Frank Bunger, CEO and founder of Orion Span, said in a statement last year. “Upon launch, Aurora Station goes into service immediately, bringing travelers into space quickly and at a lower price point than ever seen before.”

We did it guys. We DID it!! Finally our voices have been heard and we’re going to get what we’ve all desperately been craving, a luxury space hotel. Big day for us.

This place is going to be AWESOME. All you need is three months free to complete their training program, 12 days to spend in space, and $9.5M laying around.

You maybe thinking that’s a lot of money. Normally I would agree but in this case check out all the stuff you get to do!

  1. A three month space training program. Since the beginning of space travel this program has taken 24 months but Orion Span is a company on a mission and they cut the program to 1/8th the original one. Work smarter not harder.
  2. An authentic astronaut experience, ever heard of it? The CEO and Founder of Orion Span, Frank Bunger, says, “Upon launch, Aurora Station goes into service immediately, bringing travelers into space quickly and at a lower price point than ever seen before.” I’m not so sure what the previous price point was for civilian space travel but it couldn’t have been cheap. Bunger doubled down saying further, “Our goal is to make space accessible to all.” So bargain shoppers probably won’t have to wait too long until economy plus options are available.
  3. Seven new possible friends. Each launch has 6 people and 2 crew on it. I doubt a lot of people are bringing their family on a $9.5M per head vacation so it’s you, five strangers, and two crew members who secretly resent you that you can befriend for 12 days.
  4. Sixteen sunrises and sixteen sunsets per 24 hours. That’s a sunrise or sunset every 45 minutes.
  5. Zero gravity ping pong (floating equipment provided) which makes every penny of the trip worth it.
  6. Private sleeping pods similar to those found on classy British Airways commercials. Class, class, class.
  7. Top quality space food. I’m so basic that I didn’t even know there was low quality space food. So embarrassing.
  8. Video chats back home to Earth using high speed internet connection. Hi Honey! I know I spent almost $10M and risked my life to get off the same planet that you are on, but I just wanted to check in and see how the kids are doing.
  9. Hero’s welcome upon return. They didn’t provide any details about this but I think having a bunch of strangers celebrate you for spending $9.5M for a two week romp through space is…. AMAZING, because hey, you’ve earned the adulation.

I mean the future is finally here!

Actually, now that I’m reading through this thing I’m starting to have a few concerns. Doing a 24 month program in 3 months doesn’t sound like it’s the safest idea ever. Also, those “private sleeping pods” are basically cocoons because the entire “luxury hotel” is only 12 feet wide and 35 feet long. Remember, there are 8 total people on this trip. I don’t need any Asian instagram influencer peeing all over my mattress because he didn’t want any neighbors. No thanks.

I decided to dive in a little deeper on Orion Span after reading this last line of the article:

“Orion Span is currently crowdfunding for investors who wish to own part of Aurora Station. At the time of writing, there is $217,100 raised on its current SeedInvest campaign with fewer than eight days to go – which won’t make a huge dent in what is surely a very costly project.”

Not a great sign that they have only raised 2.3% of one ticket for the space hotel. I wasn’t even able to create a login for SeedInvest because the site was down, but it did encourage me to try again later.

You know what come to think of it, maybe this Frank Bunger guy is full of shit. This is basically Fyre Fest in space, and while I’m kind of upset I didn’t go to the first Fyre Fest, I don’t think Fyre Fest 2: Space Edition is for me.

It’s gonna be a pass dog.

@caddieyard

P.S. 3 to 1 odds that Frank Bunger is really Billy McFarland using the internet in a prison library. If you need a super heavy credit card to book this trip then we’ll know for sure.

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