Kansas Doing Kansas Things; Passes Legislation to Ban Dogs From Becoming Governors

HUTCHINSON, KS (CBSDFW.COM/AP) — Kansas election officials are putting the brakes on a dog’s campaign for governor.

Terran Woolley, of Hutchinson, decided to file the paperwork over the weekend for his 3-year-old pooch, Angus, to run for the state’s top office after reading stories about six teenage candidates. That according to KWCH-TV . The teens entered the race after learning Kansas doesn’t have an age requirement, something lawmakers are seeking to change.

Woolley said he read through the bylaws and requirements for Kansas governor, and it appeared that his dog really could run for office.

Angus is a type of hunting dog called a wire-haired Vizsla. Woolley figured Angus would need to run as a Republican. He described Angus as a “caring, nurturing individual who cares about the best for humanity and all creatures other than squirrels.”

But the Kansas Secretary of State’s office says man’s best friend is not capable of serving the responsibilities required of the governor.

Woolley said if Angus was cleared to run, he would have chosen his siblings, Babe and Max for Lt. governor and secretary of state respectively.

Living in the Tri-State area sucks.  We are all on top of each other, the rent is outrageous for the size of apartments, the taxes suck out loud, the weather is brutal for a solid quarter of the year, and the traffic is a nightmare.  Then you throw in the Mets, the Jets, the Rangers, etc. and you find yourself living in a nightmare.  Everyday millions of people wake up, hate the world, and begrudgingly go through the motions just to get through the day.  All to wake up and do it again tomorrow for the rest of eternity.

Pretty grim right?

Well at least we don’t have to put into law that dogs cannot be elected to governor of New Jersey.  Actually we might I haven’t looked and refuse to do so but it doesn’t matter.  Kansas, you’re officially on notice.  Elections, and their integrity, are not to be trifled with.  I mean Russia tried to interfere with our 2016 Presidential election and look how hard we’ve come down on them.  Doubt anyone is going to try and mess with our democracy again anytime soon.  Merica.

So now we have these clowns out in Kansas trying to exploit all these election rules like no minimum age requirements or having to be a human being.  If they think that they’re going to get away with it then they have got another thing coming.  This is America ok?  Land of the free and home of the brave.  The country that whooped the world’s ass twice.  The country that invented baseball, the deep frier, and Snuggies.  These colors don’t run and they certainly don’t let you enter your dog into a governor’s race.

Could you imagine if they allowed this dog to enter the race and it won?  Just some complete idiot dog behind a desk as the head of the state government of Kansas not having a fucking clue on how to run a state or how any policy works?  Just barking insults at foreign dignitaries and pissing all over his staff’s stuff making them look ridiculous.  Because of course, they’re boss is an idiot dog.

Probably with fake orange hair and moderately racist thoughts.

And I love dogs.  As pets.  Just not elected officials.  I mean if we elect a dog as governor then what kind of candidates are we going to get in 2020? Thank God the Kansas state legislature put a stop to this before it could gain any momentum.  The last thing we need is for a bunch of ass clowns running for president and we’re left deciding which candidate would ruin our lives less.  That’d be a real shame if that happened.  Real shame.


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