Golfer Completely Gets Raw Deal From Johnny Law

via – A Village of Country Club Hills man was arrested after leaving the scene of an accident in which a passenger fell from his golf cart.

Lake EMS responded shortly before 3 p.m. Friday to Myrtle Beach Drive where an injured man who appeared to be intoxicated had suffered a road rash indicative of falling from a moving vehicle, according to an arrest report from the Lady Lake Police Department.

Police learned that Steven G. LaFlamme, 56, had driven his golf cart from the scene of the accident to his girlfriend’s home at 1705 Pebble Beach Lane. When police found LaFlamme standing in the driveway, he appeared to be intoxicated.

He was “agitated” and would not cooperate with field sobriety exercises, the report indicated.

He was arrested on charges of driving under the influence and leaving the scene of an accident.

It was LaFlamme’s fifth drunk driving arrest.

He was already on probation as the result of a golf cart DUI in 2015.

He was being held on $15,000 bond at the Lake County Jail.

Steven G “Mother fucking” LaFlamme you incredible Unit you!!

As you may have been able to tell from my handle, I’m a golf guy, which is good for the game. I’ve been a Caddie for 19 years (ages 14 to 32). However as opposed to golf analysis and talking about tournaments and specific players (which will be done as well) these are the golf stories that I love.

The kind of stories you hear in the Caddie Yard from visiting Caddies during large events at your home course are absolutely electric (however they are also on average 94% bullshit) But now in 2018, these batshit stories are living on the internet and I haven’t been more excited since Elin chased Tiger down the driveway with a 9-iron. Myyyyyyyyyy second favorite Thanksgiving ever, behind the time my family reunion terrorized Washington DC for a week and finished off the hotels supply of bottled beer. You read that correctly.

Isn’t Florida just the best place ever? I mean we all joke about the illiteracy, the avid Meth usage, and the plethora of face-eating zombies but once you get past that you’re left with the sun, the women, the golf courses (seriously I feel like you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting three golf courses down there), living in a community where you can trade in your car for a golf cart because you’re old now and everything you need is all centralized inside a golf cart’s full battery radius.

My last reason for Florida being the best place ever is actually all the old people.

Old people are the fucking best dude. They pick up tabs at the bar because they won’t let anyone younger than them pay for anything ever, which is basically everyone on planet earth. Out of all the ones that play golf at courses that they live on, I’d say 90% are decent golfers.

By decent I’m not talking about quality of shots or 18 hole scores. I’m talking about keeping their ball in play at all times, giving putts that are egregiously outside “The Circle of Friendship” gimme range, and are obsessed with playing in under 4 hours. Lastly what I like about playing golf with them is the amount of fucking life lessons just being handed out left and right. I don’t remember most of them because again as mentioned above these guys had been paying for my transfusions all day but they basically all have to deal with hating their wife, hating their kids, and tempidly trusting any Hispanic club employee. To be fair they are all racists, egomaniacs, narcissistic old men who suck, social policy wise.

Real high brow stuff.

So obviously this story has a lot going for it. Takes place in Florida, involves driving golf carts completely hammered drunk, and the criminal justice system of Lake County Florida.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve spent my entire adult life on golf courses or if it’s because I’m a complete degenerate golf addict, but I don’t blame this guy one iota.

When you go out golfing with your buddies there are a few things you need to keep in mind. Golf is the only game that (unless you’re playing match play) your opponent is yourself, you call penalties on yourself, and other than your Caddie you are out there all by your lonesome. Lot of self reliance with golfers. Especially older aged golfers.

These guys all have to know the simple math equation of 18 holes of golf + the Florida sun + heavy drinking = every man for himself. Real simple mantra to live by.

How do we know that the passenger did what I do when I’ve had way to much to drink and pulled an “Irish Exit”. This is a sick maneuver when you’re too trashed to take the time and do all the fake goodbyes and you just leave without telling or seeing anyone. How do we know that the passenger in LaFlamme’s cart didn’t just Irish Exit on his ass.

So now the police show up at LaFlamme’s girlfriend’s house which is probably going to turn out to be a worse punishment for him than any amount of fines, probation, or community service will even COME CLOSE to what the girlfriend over on Pebble Beach Lane is gonna put this guy through.

Wives/girlfriends already get pissed when they’re man is hammered. They also get even double pissed when they’re man plays golf. They get triple pissed when their man comes home from playing golf completely destroyed followed by the cops saying that his friend fell out of the cart, fucked his face up, and now he’s under arrest.

Not a big math guy but that’s like 5 strikes.

Most likely why the dude was “agitated” when police contacted him and try to explain to him why he’s under arrest for his dickhead friend Irish Exiting from the ride he was nice enough to give him.

Also, at that point he’s got his blood boiling, steam blowing out his ears, a BAC probably around .27 and he’s supposed to cooperate with field sobriety tests? Are you out of your fucking mind??

Uhhh hey Lake County Sheriff’s Office you think Steven LaFlamme is going to build your case for you against him? C’mon bro. He’s not a complete idiot.

He’s a little bit of an idiot though because as it stands he was arrested and charged with DUI and leaving the scene of an accident. Not the complete end of the world list of charges you’d imagine unless you’re also dealing with the following issues:

– He’s already on probation for DUI of guess what, a golf cart because obviously that’s how he rolls.

– He’s was slapped with $15,000 for bail on current charges. Sick shit. Shouldn’t have an issue raising that kind of cash in rural central Florida.

– And finally, this was his 5th drunk driving arrest. Not one, not two, not three, not four…

At the time of publication, it was unclear if all five arrests involved golf carts or other slow moving motor vehicles that could be easily operated by grade school children.

If this was anywhere but central-ish Florida, I’d be worried for this guy. But something tells me that there’s enough mayhem going on in Florida that stuff will falls through the cracks pretty easily.


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