Get a Load of This Guy Trying to Say the Jets Should Go With a McCown/Hackenberg QB Combo and I Can’t Stop Vomitting – Kirk Cousins is available in 2018 NFL free agency. Moreover, this is supposedly the best quarterback NFL Draft class since 1983 gave us three future Pro Football Hall of Famers (John Elway, Jim Kelly and Dan Marino). That means there are a bevy of quarterbacks for the New York Jets to choose from.

But they should stand pat: re-sign Josh McCown and have him battle Christian Hackenberg for the No. 1 quarterback spot in 2018. This may seem completely ridiculous given the nature of the draft, and having a quarterback like Kirk Cousins available, but it’s not. Here’s why.

I’m going to go ahead and stop him right there.  Is this guy actually suggesting the Jets stay put at the QB position?  Is that what I’m hearing here?  Is that what needs to be picked up because he has been laying it down? Are Jets fans supposed to digest this information without rioting?  Is this guy going to try and sell us on this?  Is anybody even listening to me?

Of all the insanely scolding hot molten lava takes in the universe this one has got to be the most molten lava-ey.  I had to squat on this post all day because I thought maybe this guy was fucking with me.  No one could seriously believe that the Jets should stay put at quarterback right?  Right?  Wrong.  We talking about Michael Pallas here people.  This guy must have needed page views in a real bad way because if you’re going to write an article about the Jets going with Christian Goddamn Hackenberg, on the internet, with your name attached to it then you better be in some kind of evil Kevin Spacey has my family and the only way to save their lives is to get 100,000 clicks.  Any other reason than that and you are straight up taking crazy pills.

Let’s not light our mob torches just yet.   Gotta hear both sides right?  It’s 2018.  People listen, digest, and comprehend other people’s expressions of ideas before judging.  They don’t just violently break out a slew of offensive language while also attacking the other person’s intelligence and sexual orientation right?  People don’t still do that do they?

Argument 1: Look at What the Coach Was Able to do With THIS Guy 100 Years Ago

Pallas brings up a two season stretch that Jay Cutler had in Denver.  Jay “puffing squares on the sideline” Cutler.  When I’m discussing options for a franchise QB for my favorite team Jay Cutler is on the list of names you don’t want to hear, along with Johnny Manziel, Ryan Leaf, and Michael Vick (after prison).  Let’s extend some of our benefit of the doubt to Mr. Pallas.

Cutler’s numbers for that stretch were a completion percentage of 62.9% and 45 TDs.  He was voted to his first, and only, Pro Bowl and I don’t know I guess I’d take those numbers.  Here’s McCown’s numbers from last year, let’s see how they match up.  Completion percentage was 67% and he had a 2:1 TD to INT ratio.  Not too shabby maybe this guy isn’t as completely full of trash takes as I had originally thought…

Oh whoops, no he is.  This is why.  I have been a long suffering Jets fan.  I don’t pretend to have all the answers here but at the same time if something looks like a duck and acts like a duck then it’s probably a freaking duck.  How many times does a franchise have continued success over an extended period of time by just plugging in journeyman QBs that the coaching staff then gets to play at a high level?  Never?  Somewhere around there?  This whole “stick with what you’ve got at QB and use your remaining resources to surround said QB with weapons” argument has been tried, by this franchise.

Do you remember a Jets QB by the name of Ryan Fitzpatrick?  Went to a little school in Boston, Harvard University, ever heard of it?  He was the cheap option at QB for the Jets, the idea being that the Jets would have more resources for offensive weapons.  They went out and got Brandon Marshall and Eric Decker and had one of the best WR duos in the league.  How’d that end up?  Hmm?  I’ll give you a hint.

2016     56.6%     2,710 yards     12 TDs     17 INTs     QBR 69.6    Team Record: 5-11

2015    59.6%     3,905 yards     31 TDs     15 INTs     QBR 88.0     Team Record: 10-6

So for those of you keeping score at home, that’s a combined team record of 15-17 with zero playoff appearances.  0 for 1 Pallas.

His second argument is one that’s as old as the game of football itself.  Jeremy Bates, the new OC and QB coach for the Jets, is a QB whisperer.  He can take guys that have been written off, given up on, or signed off the street and turn them into a Super Bowl caliber QB.  Basically, these guys get all the credit for stories like Kurt Warner.

This argument has some logic to it.  It’s insanely flawed logic but logic nonetheless.  It’s saying, “Hey look at what he was able to do with Jay Cutler a thousand years ago on a completely different team with a completely different roster so he can definitely turn Christian Hackenburg into Joe Montana.”

My favorite part of this incredibly insane article was when he said “The Jets should build a running game and offensive line and give Hackenberg weapons to throw to. Also, they should put a good defense on the field.”  Oh is that it? Is that all the Jets need? So long story short they should replace everyone on the team and just build around Christian Hackenberg, right………….

It’s no secret that the QB position is far and away the most important on the roster.  It’s the foundation that the team can then build the rest of the roster around.  Well I guess it is a secret to Michael Pallas, but to everyone else on planet Earth it is pretty common knowledge.  Here’s what I think the Jets should do.

First, try to sign Kirk Cousins.  I think that this is becoming the more likely route for the Jets because there are not a lot of teams that can afford him.  Sign Cousins to a 4 year deal with a team option in the third year and then use draft picks to start filling roster needs.  As the article pointed out the Jets need a running game, offensive line, skill position weapons, and a good defense so the team can take the “best available” prospect all 7 rounds of the Draft.

More on needs and possible matches for said needs in a later post.

That was about a thousand words illustrating how terrible of a take this guy had.  Hey Pallas, when you’re dealing with a franchise as intricate and complicated as the Jets, leave it to the real fans because if you come down into the Gravel Pit with these ridiculous child-like Peter Pan takes then someone’s feelings are going to get hurt.

The sneaky best part of the article was this quote at the end,

“If Bates can get that season out of McCown, he can do better with Hackenberg.  This certainly looks like a marriage made in heaven.”

Nowhere in your article did you even come close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on the internet is dumber for having read it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

If it’s possible for a human to be more wrong about something than Pallas is about the Jets QB situation hit me with it on Twitter, @CaddieYard.

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