The McCulture Theorem: Get Certified

(Notice: By reading this blog you will receive your Level I McCulture Certification, if you are NOT interested in receiving this high honor then please do not read the blog. Once you are certified, you cannot become un-certified)

THE BUFFALO BILLS ARE 5-2. If you haven’t had your Monday morning coffee, step away from the computer, pour yourself a cup of that victory hazelnut and get ready to go to work. Do you think Sean McCulture and the Culture boys are resting on their laurels right now??? Folks that’s a rhetorical question.

We will be talking football but we all need a refresher on some of those mathematical definitions.

A CONUNDRUM is a confusing and difficult problem or question. You may recall last year’s conundrum regarding Quarterback Tyrod Taylor’s contract extension.

This is not to be confused with a PARADOX, which is a statement that can be proven to be both true and false. Examples: Tyrod Taylor is a good quarterback. Tyrod Taylor is the right quarterback.

A THEOREM is a truth established by means of accepted truths. Here are some truths:

LeSean McCoy is the most talented, fun player I’ve ever had to pleasure to root for.

This defense can shut down any team on any day.

This team has completely bought into “respecting the process” and with every win the culture gets stronger and the players buy in even more.

Well here is our Sean McDermott aka Sean McCulture Theorem….

 

If RESPECT + PROCESS = CULTURE And CULTURE = PLAYOFFS than RESPECTING THIS MANZ PROCESS WILL GET US TO THE F*CKING PLAYOFFS AND END THIS STUPID 17 YEAR DROUGHT AND MAKE US SO HAPPY WE’LL LITERALLY BURST INTO A CLOUD OF PURE SATISFACTION AND GLADNESS.

 

One more definition. A LEMMA is a minor result whose sole purpose is to help in proving a theorem. It’s a greek math word and you bet your sweet ass it is the root of the word DILEMMA. Well guess what I’ve got some Lemmas for our theorem. Wins vs the Jets, Broncos, Falcons, Buccaneers, and Raiders. That’s 5 freakin lemmas. If we get 10 lemmas our theorem becomes an actual theorem. Right now I think its actually just CONJECTURE.

 

Yooooo

 

You just got certified fam. Congrats.

Feel free to share this post on twitter, tag @TheSportsChill and let us know how certified you are. And look I even made you a little certificate.

1 Comment

  1. Coffee Cal

    Awesome post man keep it going

    Reply

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