Aux Rules 101

So, I was asked a while back to write something up about a picture that I had found from a while back. Needless to say, things came up, and the article was never written…Well I’M BACK BABY! And this post is one that may shake some things up for the usual readers. Again keep in mind this photograph was taken from a while back so the rules have differed a little bit. When this set of rules was created there was no Lil Yachty, Uzi, Travis Scott, and of course my favorite, Migos were just a figment of my imagination. Side note, I prayed every night they would make it big. Back to the topic, actually forgot it, to quote the excellent J Cole, who is on this list, these rules were different but it’s still an excellent photograph to share and get a good laugh at.

Alright let us take a look at some of these rules, maybe some still apply in today’s music, and maybe not.

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Rule number one, absolutely no Nickleback. I would say that rule definitely still applies, in today’s music if you are stretching for a Nickleback song to be played, and that’s a Gumby, first base type stretch. You should be kicked out of the car, party, lose your phone, whatever your current situation is, it needs to be reevaluated, and you just need to go home.

Number two, treat every song like it’s your last. If you have ever been on the aux cord, this rule still applies today. And to be honest you never want to be the one who gets your phone ripped out of the jack and handed back to you because your music was not up to par. If you start receiving requests after the first 3 songs, make the excuse that your phone is dying, if someone has a charger right there, get your head in the game and play Magnolia by Playboi Carti, or any song off of Migos Culture album, that’ll get you back in it immediately.

Rule 3 is about Kanye. Yea I love Kanye’s music, so this one doesn’t apply to me. If you play anything from Graduation or College Dropout, or even The Life of Pablo you’re straight, again that’s my opinion. I’m just saying I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t enjoy hearing Through The Wire, Jesus Walks, Slow Jamz, or Good Morning.

Rule 4 dives into emotional Drake music, and the end result is a 30 second penalty. I would agree with this one, however if it is older Drake, the Drake I enjoy, depending on the group it may slide. If you proceed to play Marvin’s Room, that would get a pass in my book…”are you drunk right now??”

Rule 5 you can read on your own, it’s still true to this day, and I do not even want to discuss it. (Macklemore disqualifies you for life)

Rule 6, still applies you can play an entire J Cole album through no issue. However there are now a few others that you can allow to go all the way through. “DAMN” by Kendrick, can play all the way through. Culture by the MiGOATS or MiGAWDS can also play all the way through, it might burn the aux but it can play through. Another sleeper that is allowed in my eyes is Birds in the “Trap Sing McKnight” by Travis Scott, this can be played whole way through with no issues in many situations.

Rule 7 is there is a request to change songs more than once you receive a 24 hour ban. I could not agree with this more. If you have control of the aux you have control of the mood of the entire place. If 30 seconds into a song it is asked to be changed, you should hop off immediately, you are doing the whole group of people a disservice.

Rule 8, if privileges are lost within 2 songs you purchase the next meal. I need to start implementing this one, I would have received a ton of free meals. On a serious note I do agree with this, again if you are controlling the aux you have the entire mood, it can either be a great one, or a tragic one, the fate relies in your hands. Be DJ Khaled not Bill Shakespeare.

Rule 9, the classic aux off…I’ve never actually seen this occur, but it needs to happen more often. Plenty times where there are arguments about who is dropping the flames on the aux, this rule needs to be applied a lot more, and I think I will bring this about this weekend. An aux-off…could be a new game show actually, hmmmmm.

Rule 10, country music sends you to the gallows. I can deal with Wagon Wheel and Chicken Fried, after that, you are definitely gone. And if you think to remotely play those back to back, you need to go to a mental facility and get yourself checked out.

Those are the rules, now don’t go breaking them. Follow up article will definitely be a new set with new names, and some excellent new ideas. Possibly a drinking game within that. Hope everything is everything, and always remember to JUST SMILE.

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-Nick

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