ESPN Circumsices Its Base

ESPN has laid off over 100 employees today and looks like there is more to come. This is seen as a cost cutting move for the floundering network and they will continue to fail because they don’t realize the real issue….they suck and the people who they value and kept are terrible.

ESPN has 8 channels. This includes ESPN2, ESPN Classic, ESPNews,, ESPN+, ESPN Deportes, ESPNU, Longhorn Network, and the SEC Network. To tell you the truth…I have watched ESPN Deportes more than any other channel. I watch it for soccer at least twice a month. One time I watched ESPN for 10 minutes and I saw this commercial for Michael Smith and Jemele Hill that infuriated me beyond comprehension. These two idiots aren’t likeable at all and whoever decided to put these talentless assclowns front and center deserves a hot poker in the anus.

Watch these and fill your hate meter:

I know how to make ESPN profitable again. Get rid of all your talent that costs over 500 grand. Flay Stephen A. Smith on pay per view. Make Dick Vitale gargle his grandchildren’s sex organs on pay per view. Throw Michael Smith and Jemele Hill in a ring with a 2×4 with nails in it and have them fight to the death on pay per view. Also get rid of all your channels. Only idiots watch the Longhorn and SEC network. I bet the average intelligence of people who watch that network is at post lobotomy levels. I would watch those channel if they had gameshows like: Guess the Rapist or Pipe Dreams “Broke, Penniless and Physically Disabled”. ESPN needs to go back to its roots and start showing sports. We can get ‘hot takes’ anywhere now and by people far more talented and likeable than Jemele Hill (btw…I would). Also move the HQ away from Bristol to attract better talent. I heard the water up there makes you murderous and want to tear up buttholes…Aaron Hernandez Joke!!

ESPN is just putting in regular sized tampons into a whale’s vagina. It won’t stop this menstrual hemorrhage at all.

3 Comments

  1. Tim D sux

    fire this writer he sux

    Reply
    1. Tim D

      Ah my first hate comment. Next time use your own email so we can discuss why I suck instead of a generalization which I assume comes from your parents.

      Reply
  2. Old School

    Any station that showed such poor judgement as to hire Keith Ober- blow hard” man deserves to get what they got coming. No sympathy here

    Reply

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