Helloooooooooo Ladies and gentlemen and welcome to The Sports Chill.
Why The Sports Chill? Well first of all, the domain name sportschill.com was taken. When I approached the man who owns the domain with no content on it, the carpet bagging son of a scalawag wanted $6,000. My initial thought was to counter with $50. However, I decided to play hardball and rebut with $7,000. That did not go over so well. So there’s a THE in front of SportsChill. Mark Zuckerberg got it wrong.
I created TheSportsChill.com because I think I offer a different perspective on sports. I could tell you a Red Sox joke, but that’s because I heard a guy scream “Hey Nomar! Sit down! Your nose is blocking my view,” at the house that Ruth built. Or I could tell you that Phillies fans are the most viscous, but that’s because I was once shoved into a urinal by a Phanatic at Citizens Bank Park who spotted me with a Yankees hat on. I might explain what Joe Morgan’s face looks like when your brother refuses to take a family picture with him or why Gaylord Perry still to this day is trying to buy a typewriter instead of ponying up for a computer. Believe me, these stories are real; who could make that shit up?
I can bring the attitude of a New Yorker with the chill of Carl Hagelin on Spring Break to all things sports and entertainment. In addition, I can help win you money on daily fantasy sports (I have a proven track record), but sometimes nipple jokes and movie reviews are funnier.
The last thing in the world I want to do is bore you. I have tried to run a few “businesses” in the past and each has failed because they weren’t something I was truly passionate about. Sports are my passion and I know this time, with your support, thesportschill.com will grow into a great success. Any comments, suggestions or poop jokes will be greatly appreciated on the site. Anyone who wants to help feel free to email me at email@example.com.
Finally, “I don’t know where I’m going from here but I promise it won’t be boring.” Stay tuned…